How to Escape the Pull of Social Media for Parents and Kids

The Social Media Mirror: How Online Content Impacts Confidence and Connection

Scrolling social media. We all do it from time to time. Whether it’s while we are waiting in the carpool line, in a waiting room at the doctor’s office or before we go to bed, the pull of social media can be strong. We are seeking fashion trends, tips on how to meal prep and save money, connections with friends – old and new, and advice from other local parents about schools, camps and where to take piano lessons.

If we, as adults, have a hard time disconnecting, how is it impacting our kids?

The core goal of social media is to facilitate communication, connection and content sharing across digital platforms. Popular platforms for adults include Instagram, Facebook, X (formerly Twitter) and LinkedIn, while kids are more drawn to TikTok, Snapchat and YouTube. While these companies have a minimum age limit of 13 to be a user, many kids start interacting with the platforms at the age of 10 or younger, with or without parent permission.

Atlanta Parent spoke to some local experts to understand how social media can affect self-esteem and overall mental health.

Table of Contents

Curating Comparisons

“From my research, social media is a double-edged sword; it can impact mental health both positively and negatively,” says Dr. Munmun De Choudhury, associate professor at Georgia Institute of Technology’s School of Interactive Computing. Her work focuses on developing computational techniques for early detection and intervention in mental health, as well as in unpacking how social media use benefits or harms mental well-being.

“On one hand, it offers a platform for connection, peer support and identity exploration, especially for youth navigating challenging life transitions, experiences or events,” she explains. “On the other hand, it can amplify feelings of isolation, expose individuals to harmful content, or promote and reinforce dangerous health behaviors.”

According to a study published by the University of London, 90 percent of young women who participated reported using a filter or editing their photos before posting them to social media to even out their skin tone, reshape their jaw or nose, shave off weight, brighten or bronze their skin or whiten their teeth.

“It’s easy to understand why a child, after hours of scrolling, might feel like they can never measure up to the pictures that they see online. They compare themselves with filtered, edited and perfected images that others want to portray to the world,” says Dr. Emily Ferrara, a licensed professional counselor and founder of Simplify Life in Atlanta. “Students compare their regular life with the curated highlight reel of influencers, strangers and friends which never leaves them feeling more grounded and fulfilled in life. This impacts their anxiety, life satisfaction in their normal un-curated life and reduces self-esteem.”

Research has found that social media creates an environment ripe for comparison. “Youth often compare themselves to idealized portrayals of peers, influencers or even strangers,” says De Choudhury. “We have found that young girls are particularly susceptible to Instagram content promoting unrealistic body image and perceptions. This can erode self-esteem, especially when their own reality does not match these idealized, filtered versions of life. On the flip side, we have found that when used in prosocial ways, like sharing achievements or supporting others, social media use can actually reinforce self-worth.”

Emotional regulation is a key lesson of childhood and adolescence. It involves being aware of your emotions and understanding why you feel that way, as well as controlling reactions and choosing appropriate responses to how you feel.

“Kids who are glued to their devices are far less mindful and able to emotionally regulate because they don’t have to learn these skills with a phone as a constant distraction,” says Ferrera. “When I was a kid, when my sister and I got in fights, I had to go to my room, figure out why I was so upset before coming back to the family room where we had to make amends, even if we didn’t fully mean it sometimes. Now, if kids get in a tiff, they don’t have to deal with it, they just bury their emotions by scrolling, snapping or blasting their offender on social media.”

According to De Choudhury, the influence of social media platforms often depends on context, content and a person’s existing vulnerabilities or support systems. “We have found that patterns in how young people engage in social media—what they post, how they respond to others and even the timing of their activity—can signal underlying mental health challenges like depression, anxiety or psychosis,” she says.

At Dr. Ferrera’s practice, tweens and teens most often experience increased anxiety, decreased mindfulness and reduced emotional regulation. “Fear of missing out and social comparison play into this,” she says.

While social platforms enable connection, they can also limit the depth and nuance of communication. “When face-to-face interactions are replaced by short-form content or reaction emojis, opportunities to practice empathy, resolve conflict or read body language can be reduced,” says De Choudhury.

It is key to help your child find time to have real-life social interactions and reflect on how they feel after these experiences versus social media conversations.

Understanding the Signs of Social Media Blues

Being aware of what to look for when it comes to social media burnout can help you intervene in a timely manner. You may hear terms like social media sadness, digital-age depression or Instagram blues used to describe what your child is experiencing.

“Parents will come into my office, unsure of what they can do since they want to be supportive but don’t know what that looks like in these situations,” says Ferrera. “And, unfortunately, avoidance only increases anxiety over time.”

There are several social, emotional and behavioral signs and symptoms that parents can be on the lookout for, including:

Increased irritability or mood swings after having been online
Reduced time with others and socially withdrawing
Change in habits and preferences in offline behaviors such as sports or clubs
Verbalizing negative self-talk about appearances or abilities
Significant increased usage of time on devices, in the daytime and at night
Seeming obsessed with likes and online engagements

“Sometimes the signs are much more covert,” says Ferrera. “When in doubt, look at the battery life button to see the amount of time they were on certain apps. There is a correlation between a child’s moods and their social media usage—always!”

De Choudhury agrees. “Digital footprints can provide early indicators of ensuing distress,” she says. “However, social media usage cannot be and should not be used as a diagnosis for specific mental health conditions.”

Moving Forward

Since social media and the digital world aren’t going away, it’s important to arm kids with the proper tools to navigate life in this space.

“One thing I always like to tell people is that social media itself is not necessarily always a problem,” says De Choudhury. “It reflects the world we live in—it magnifies both the challenges young people face and the connections they are seeking. What matters is the context: who is using it, how, and under what circumstances. That is why we need to create more supportive digital spaces, hold platforms accountable for transparency and equip both youth and caregivers with the tools to navigate these spaces mindfully.”

It’s also important to keep kids grounded in real life. “I think it’s helpful for the child and family to discuss what they believe were the most memorable moments over the last year,” says Ferrera. “As they do this, it can help them realize that, most likely, those moments weren’t involving their phones or some funny TikTok they found. The moments were most memorable because they were moments where they likely connected with others in meaningful ways, on a vacation, during a long family dinner or something seemingly mundane.”

Setting Limits

Summer is a great time to have a social media reset for the whole family. Use these tips to talk to your kids about social media and screen time boundaries.

“First off, if parents are going to ask their kids to decrease their kids’ screentime, they need to do the same,” says Ferrera. “If they say no phones at the table, parents need to model the behavior first, otherwise, they are just being hypocritical.” She suggests having dinner and other times as phone-free times with a phone basket to hold all silenced devices.

“Childhood is the time to grow strong. You can’t grow strong if you are dependent on an addictive platform,” says Jonathan Haidt, author of “The Anxious Generation.” He suggests waiting until eighth grade at the earliest, and ideally not until the age of 16, to give kids a phone.

Even if your child already has a phone, it’s not too late to co-create a “tech agreement” that outlines boundaries and shared expectations for screen time and social media usage. “I strongly recommend fostering open conversations about what kids are doing and feeling online, so they feel empowered and supported,” says De Choudhury.

Some suggestions Ferrera gives to families when creating this sort of contract include:

Identify phone-free zones in the house
Turn in phones by a certain time each evening
Have a time limit on social media account usage
Have a screen time limit daily
Identify what must be done before going on social media, such as homework and chores
Allow location services to be on
Discuss codes of conduct for posting so that what is said aligns with their values and beliefs
Discuss transparency—for instance, will parents be able to check kids’ social media posts?

“Even with these contracts, we encourage parents to push relationships over rules,” says Ferrera. “Show the child that the point of the phone contract is help them have a balanced life as a connected part of the family.”

According to Pew Research, teens spend an average of 4.8 hours on social media like YouTube, TikTok, Instagram and X. Fifty percent of teens interviewed said they are on their devices constantly. “Parents can help reduce this time by giving a time limit each day, but give kids choices on when to use it, other than right before bed,” says Ferrera. “Give them rewards for when they stay under a certain total each day and let them pick from a reward menu, which could include staying up later, playing longer with friends or getting money to go towards offline activities like baseball bats, books or art supplies.”

– Tali Benjamin