The Dyslexia Journey: The Emotional Side

For a child with dyslexia, school can feel like a place where they’re constantly being reminded of what’s difficult. Reading aloud, spelling a word, finishing an assignment or keeping up with classmates can become frustrating experiences. Over time, those challenges can impact much more than academics.

Children with dyslexia may begin to question their abilities, avoid situations where they might struggle or compare themselves to their peers. But dyslexia doesn’t define a child’s intelligence, creativity or potential. With the right support, understanding and encouragement, parents can help their children build confidence, recognize their strengths and develop a healthy sense of themselves as learners.

The Comparison Trap

Let’s face it. In today’s world of constant connection and social media, it’s easy for everyone to wonder how they add up to their peers. This can be especially true for children with dyslexia who are faced head on with real-life examples day in and day out.

Watching classmates read quickly or finish assignments easily can be discouraging. Children may wonder why something that seems effortless for others requires so much work for them, which can negatively impact self-esteem. Be sure your child understands that their dyslexia doesn’t mean they are “bad at school” or “not as smart as others.”

If your child is feeling down about school, emphasize effort, persistence and individual strengths rather than grades, reading levels or what a friend accomplished that day. You can celebrate progress, even when it’s incremental, as a way to keep confidence levels up.

Finding strengths outside of academics can also help children remember that they are capable. For your child, that may be the arts, sports, building, music, humor, leadership or technology. The key is to find something they enjoy.

Help your child understand dyslexia and feel comfortable talking about their diagnosis with friends and family. Having the tools to explain why something is difficult can make it feel less personal or emotional.

Signs of a Struggle

School avoidance, frequent stomachaches or headaches around school, withdrawal from being social, irritability, anxiety or statements like “I’m stupid” deserve attention. Sometimes, this can present as laziness at first, but often it is a result of frustration or fear of failure.

If you recognize these signs or they become persistent, it is likely time to involve a teacher or school counselor. It may be time to re-examine classroom accommodations. After all, appropriate instruction and modification are not just academic supports. They can reduce unnecessary frustration and give children with dyslexia opportunities to experience success in the classroom, building confidence.

Seeking help from a therapist may also be needed if your child’s anxiety or withdrawal begin to affect daily life.

Dyslexia may change the way a child learns, but it doesn’t have to change the way he sees himself. The goal isn’t to make dyslexia disappear; it’s to help a child grow up knowing that it is only one part of their story, not the thing that defines it.

Parents Have Feelings, Too!

Supporting a child with dyslexia starts with understanding the child’s emotions, but it also means allowing yourself to have feelings about it. You can be worried or frustrated as long as you provide a caring environment. Here are some key things to consider:

• Embrace the mix of emotions. Parents may feel relief at finally having an explanation for struggles they have noticed their child dealing with, but also worry, sadness, guilt or even grief. These complicated feelings are normal, so give yourself some grace.
• Let go of the guilt. Parents may wonder if they should have recognized the signs sooner or done something differently. Dyslexia is a brain processing disorder and isn’t caused by parenting.
• Don’t let worry become pressure. Parents naturally want to help their children succeed. But constantly correcting or emphasizing what needs to improve can leave a child feeling insecure and anxious.
• Manage your expectations. Parents may have imagined a particular academic experience for their child. Dyslexia may require you to rethink what success looks like for your child. Recognizing that the path may look different doesn’t mean your child can’t accomplish her dreams.
• Advocate without making your child feel like a problem. Parents of children with dyslexia often need to be strong advocates with schools and educators. Keep advocacy focused on getting the tools the child needs to thrive. And, remember that your child takes emotional cues from you. Approach conversations with acceptance, curiosity and confidence and he will likely follow suit.

-Tali Benjamin