Ten Parents You Will See on the First Day of School
Ready or not, the first day of school is next month. The varied sights and sounds of school children and their parents are especially fun to watch. Whether you live ITP or OTP, these parent types are easy to pick out. Which one are you?
The First Timer: We are all first timers at some point. These poor parents look as lost as their children. They are shocked at the size of 5th graders and can’t believe their baby will ever be that big. The First Timer parent will put on a brave face for their child at the door but burst into tears as they turn to go home.
The Veteran: Been there. Done that. They are unfazed by the chaos of the drop-off line, the unusual items on the supply list and the drama of the other parents. The Veteran can be seen toasting their friends with travel mugs as they stop at the school sidewalk. No need to walk their kids to the door.
The Documenter: This is the parent who is taking a video of their child getting out of the car and walking to the door. The Documenter brings props to the playground to enhance their pictures, like a social media pro. These parents have it posted and hashtagged before they leave the school parking lot.
The Teacher’s Pet: This parent is a beacon of light in an overwhelmed teacher’s morning. She brings the teacher a latte, a gift card to the liquor store and extra school supplies from her wish list. The Teacher’s Pet has already volunteered for every opportunity in the classroom.
The Mayor: This parent knows everyone because she has been at the school for an extremely long time. All the teachers and staff know her and greet her by name. The Mayor has been on every PTA committee at least once, including holding the role of PTA president. She even has an understood designated parking spot.
The Hot Mess: She arrives at the school, dressed in pajamas, after the morning bell and is still packing lunches from the front seat. Miscellaneous papers fly out of her van as the kids get out. The family goldendoodle barks happily from the front seat and tries to jump out the window.
The Career Parent: Dressed nicer than the rest of us, this parent will most likely be multi-tasking on the first day of school. The Career Parent waves and smiles but cannot talk because she is listening to a conference call that she could not get out of. Her kids are organized and self-sufficient and they all communicate through a form of family sign language. She points to the ground and holds up three fingers, meaning — meet you here at 3:00.
The Complainer: Everything is wrong. The school supply list is too long. The drop-off line moves too slowly. The teacher’s email is too vague. The playground equipment doesn’t have enough swings. The hot lunch menu is limited. The Complainer shares her disgust loudly with anyone who is listening — her children, other parents, the teacher and everyone on staff.
The Caretaker: This is the person stepping in for mom or dad when dropping the child off for the first day of school. Much like the First Timer, this person doesn’t know which door the child enters and doesn’t know how the morning drop-off lane works. They cross the child in the middle of the street, stopping traffic and angering the crossing guard.
The Homeschool Parent: She is the one watching from her front porch and smiling. The first day of school has always been her favorite as the parks, pools and stores are less crowded. They started school three weeks ago and next week are headed off for their back-to-school vacation.
-Pam Molnar
