Start Fresh: Good Habits for a Great New Year
The new year is a great time for setting goals, embracing new ideas and prioritizing family bonding. Try getting the whole family to agree to a set of mutually rewarding pledges that can help everyone get on the same page and start the year off on the right foot. Here are some ideas to get you started.
Talk more about your day
Most parents complain that, as the kids get older, they reveal less and less about their daily lives. This is especially true of middle- and high-schoolers. When asked how their day was, at the dinner table, parents are often met with a monosyllabic “Fine.” It doesn’t have to be this way. You may be able to get your kids to open up more if you model the behavior. Parents are understandably tired after a long day at work, but if you want the kids to talk, tell them about all the things that happened to you. It could be something that occurred during the commute or something someone said at work. The more you talk, the more the kids are also likely to talk. You might be surprised.
Get the kids the pet they’ve been wanting so badly
Many kids want nothing more in life than to get a pet. Assuming that the conditions are right (no one in your family is allergic to it, the cost isn’t prohibitive, you can offer the pet the appropriate support and environment), consider getting one for the kids. But — and there’s a big but associated with this pledge — in return, the kids will have to commit to taking care of it. If it’s a dog, they’ll have to walk it in the morning before they go to school and in the evening before they go to bed. If it’s a cat, they’ll have to clean the litter box regularly, and so on. Discuss all that pet upkeep entails before you make any commitments.
Cook dinners that make everyone happy
A constant question in many families is: What’s for dinner? Often, kids want foods like burgers, hot dogs and pizza, and parents want kids to eat healthier options like lean proteins and vegetables. It doesn’t have to be a battle of the wills. Compromise is possible. One possibility is to create a weekly dinner plan that makes everyone happy. In return for one or more nights a week where the kids get to indulge in their favorite foods, they’ll have to agree to complement those dinners with healthy additions, say burgers with a side of green salad. If possible, prepare dinner together. Kids are more much more likely to eat and enjoy the fruits (no pun intended) of their own labor.
Agree on the right amount of — and time for — screens
Few things excite kids more than spending time with friends on their devices — whether texting, interacting via social media or playing games together. It doesn’t make sense to forbid the kids to engage in these kinds of activities since it’s how kids socialize these days. That also doesn’t mean that screens should dominate their lives. Come up with a mutually agreeable solution. In return for screen time with friends, the kids will have to abide by certain rules. This could be: no screens before all their homework has been completed, all screens are put away at least one hour before bedtime, or screen-free weekend mornings, afternoons or evenings to spend with the family.
Tie the kids’ allowance to supporting the household
If your kids aren’t getting a regular allowance, consider giving them one, but make it dependent on them helping around the house. Kids want money (who doesn’t), but that doesn’t mean that parents should automatically give it to them with no strings attached. Ideally, of course, kids should contribute to the home even without receiving any allowance. They should pitch in simply by virtue of being members of the household with important responsibilities. However, tying allowance to chores does mirror the real world in one crucial way: you only get paid when you work. That’s an important life-lesson that will benefit them for years to come.
-Tanni Haas
