No Birthday Gifts

There are many reasons to contemplate hosting a “no gift party” for your birthday child. Maybe you feel he has enough toys, or you want to consume more responsibly as a family. Perhaps you’re hoping to show the value of generosity and help him focus on creating memories. Plus, not having to shop for gifts can also reduce stress for your guests! Here are some tips to consider for a “no gift party.”

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Get your child on board.

You might think this is a great idea, but if your child expects a load of presents at her party, she will be disappointed on the big day. Explain to her why you want to do it and let her express any questions or concerns she might have. The party is a gift in and of itself — hanging with friends and family, eating cake and celebrating her will be an incredible part of the day. You might be surprised by her willingness.

Make your instructions clear on the invite.

State that you do not want gifts from the beginning. Here are some suggestions:

“Your presence is the only present that we need! Should you want to give something to the birthday girl, please consider giving $5 that she can put toward something special.”

“We’re trying to help the birthday girl focus on the joy of celebrating this special occasion with her cherished friends rather than on receiving gifts. To that end, we hope you’ll consider no gifts. For those who feel uncomfortable with that, we ask you consider no more than a $5 gift.”

“In honor of birthday girl’s love of animals, we will be celebrating by collecting donations for our local animal shelter. Instead of a gift, please bring an item or two from the list below.”

Some guests may still bring gifts to the party regardless. Acknowledge their generosity and set the gift aside for later for your child to open after the party is over. Even if someone doesn’t follow your wishes, be gracious.

Here are some alternative ways to not totally ditch gift giving.

A charity party: Ask friends and family to donate items to a favorite charity or cause. What does your child feel passionate about? He can ask for treats for pets, donations for a children’s hospital or toys for kids in need. Many charities will have wish lists or items they need on their websites. Check out The Birthday Party Project which helps kids experiencing homelessness enjoy the magic of a birthday celebration.
A book party: Instead of accumulating more toys that she may or may not play with, ask guests to bring new or gently used books, so your family has a library for your child. If you receive any duplicates, donate them to a nearby childcare center, or find a Little Free Library near you to share the love.
A fiver party: Ask each attendee to contribute $5 to the birthday boy. Then, he can use the money to purchase a bigger gift he saves the money for, which will also help him to start to feel confident in his ability to manage money.
A thrift party: Ask for preloved gifts only. This could be an item the guest regifts to your child or a special treasure found at a thrift store.
An experience party: Instead of tangible items, ask guests to give your child a unique experience. Maybe, it’s a promise to host a sleepover later or a special activity with a grandparent.
A DIY party: Lean into the creativity of your child and her friends, and ask for homemade gifts, such as a baked treat or a painted picture.

Send thank you notes.

Beyond the politeness of the gesture, thank you notes can show attendees how they helped the child to celebrate or helped a worthy cause.

Once your child has enough money saved to purchase his coveted item, take photos of his trip to the store and the item he buys. Including these images in a thank you note will help your guests know their monetary gift was appreciated, even if it felt unconventional to them at the time of the party. Send any copies of the acknowledgement you got from the charity with the thank you note.

Continue to teach gratitude.

A possible concern with no gift parties is children will not learn the practice of saying, “Thank you.” Show your child the importance of showing gratitude by helping her write personalized thank you notes to party attendees. Remind him of the importance of showing gratitude to the people who help to celebrate him, whether or not they give a present.