by Malia Jacobson

When it comes to raising our three kids, my husband’s style is distinctly different from mine: He instructs less and plays more. Seeing the results has caused me to modify my own juggle-it-all parenting style.

Put Your Feet Up

On most days, keeping up with our active children, currently 9, 6 and 3, is exhausting. Instead of complaining about how tiring it is, my spouse does something more practical: He takes a break when he needs one. He doesn’t neglect the kids, but he does zone out in front of ESPN for 10 minutes when he needs a breather. The kids usually take a cue from him and slow down too, snuggling up to him on the sofa or grabbing a book and reading in their room. The result is a happier, less harried parent and kids.
Lesson: Good parenting doesn’t mean running yourself ragged. Let kids see you take a breather.

Try Single-Tasking

I’m a multi-tasking whiz. Often, I’ll start the laundry while they eat breakfast, fold clothes while they play, answer emails while their pasta boils, and wipe down the counters while they eat lunch. On my husband’s days with the kids, he specializes in single-tasking: He just spends time with them. At the day’s end, there may be unfolded laundry on the floor and dirty dishes in the sink, but the kids are happy and centered.
Lesson: All kids really want is undivided attention. They come first; chores can wait.

Home Sweet Home

Like loads of other work-at-home moms, my days are rarely spent at home. I plan activities and playdates to get us out of the house. This also lets me squeeze in errands so I can feel marginally productive (see above re: multi-tasking). Under Dad’s watch, the kids have rediscovered the joy of their own backyard. The older two catch butterflies and study spiders and the toddler digs happily in the sandbox. Everybody’s happy, and we save gas and hassle.
Lesson: Park the car; sometimes the best days are lazy ones at home.

Screen Scene

The American Academy of Pediatrics is okay with up to two hours per day of screen time for kids older than 2. In other words, some daily television and iPad time is doctor-sanctioned. Yet I tense up when the kids start a second episode of Wild Kratts on Netflix. It’s summer, I say automatically: Get outside! Play!

Of course, outdoor play is invaluable, and our kids get plenty. But indoor time has value, too, as a respite from the elements and a chance to unwind for a moment. My husband balances backyard and park time with an indoor quiet time after lunch, during which the kids curl up with books or (gasp!) catch a show. They appreciate the break, and I appreciate the cute photos of my offspring curled up together, giggling at a funny cat video on YouTube.

Outside, the kids tend to run in different directions; indoors, they pile on the living room rug, huddled together with limbs intertwined. These summer memories are priceless, and they wouldn’t happen without a little well-chosen screen time.
Lesson: Balance outdoor time with quiet indoor moments for summer magic.

All Hail the Music Truck

For half a decade, whenever the ice-cream truck’s warbling notes drifted into our neighborhood, I’d quickly say “Hey, it’s the music truck!” and hold my breath, hoping nobody would start digging through my purse for a dollar.

My kids bought it, and enjoyed the jangling, jaunty notes without begging for overpriced ice cream treats. But by last summer, the ruse was wearing thin; my brood had connected the “music truck’s” arrival on our street with the neighbor kids obtaining frozen treats, and they were disgruntled. So the next time we heard the tinny tunes, my husband dug into his wallet and peeled off a few bills. He shot me a look that said, “They’re only kids once.” And he was right. Summertime is made to savor, and seeing the kids thrill to new-to-them nostalgia is part of the joy.
Lesson: Childhood is short. Let them get ice cream.