How Gratitude Improves Mental Health

Gratitude. In the Oxford Dictionary, it is defined as “the quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness.” Most of the time, we assume this state of mind is pointed at someone else — a friend, relative, teacher, coworker. But did you know that the most important type of gratitude is for oneself? Learning to appreciate yourself and small moments can have huge benefits in the long run.

According to the American Psychological Association, gratitude has powerful mental health benefits for both children and adults. It’s been shown to increase happiness, improve relationships, strengthen empathy, encourage optimism, and reduce stress, anxiety and depressive symptoms.

“The most powerful way to help kids learn to practice gratitude is to help them express it toward themselves,” says Kate Rope, Atlanta-based author of “Strong as a Girl: Your Guide to Raising Girls Who Know, Stand Up for, and Take Care of Themselves.” “Grounding into what they are grateful about in themselves helps them understand their value.”

As children become more aware of social comparisons, gratitude helps them shift focus from “what I don’t have” to “what I do have.” It can ground them in appreciation and self-worth rather than jealousy or competition. “Regular gratitude practices remind them that everyone is different,” says George Cook, a family therapist based in Peachtree Corners. “It also helps them understand that joy comes from recognizing their own blessings and strengths.”

Because mindfulness and gratitude are connected, giving children the tools and time to be mindful helps them understand how to express their gratitude. “A great place to start is their bodies,” says Rope. “As a culture, we reduce bodies to one thing: how they look. By teaching kids — especially girls — to practice gratitude for what their bodies can do, we help them understand all of the ways their bodies show up for them every day.” She suggests an easy way to do this is with a body scan when they are lying in bed. “Starting at their feet, you can have them say, ‘thank you feet for helping me kick the soccer ball today. Now is your time to rest.’ You can get as detailed as you want (‘thank you calves for walking me upstairs to bed,’ thank you brain for helping me with my spelling homework’),” explains Rope. “This is a twofer, because body scans also help relax children into sleep and ground them in the present moment, which can be really helpful for kids who have any kind of anxiety.”

You can start this and other mindfulness practices, such as breathing exercises, as early as age 3. Rope recommends starting off practicing gratitude with a “game” for younger kids called “three things” during which you take turns noticing three things you can see, hear and smell. “Focusing on your senses brings you into the present moment and helps you notice the world around you,” she says. “For instance, how soft your blanket is, or the sound of an owl outside your window, and maybe the smell of your damp, clean hair after a shower.”

Mindfulness helps us notice the good. “When you practice mindfulness, you’re paying attention to the present moment without judgment, which helps us appreciate the small things,” says Cook. “Once you are aware of the good thing, gratitude for it comes naturally, especially to children. That’s why the earlier you start, the more grounded and happy your child will be.

– Tali Benjamin

Better Breathing = Greater Gratitude

For young kids, try Lovey Breathing. Have your child place a favorite stuffed animal on their belly. Then ask them to use their breath to help their stuffy rise and fall. Tell them to: Breathe into your belly to help the lovey rise. Then, exhale deeply and slowly, emptying your belly and allowing your lovey to come down to rest.

For children ages 7 and older, Take 5 Breathing might be a better fit. These are the steps:

Open one hand and use the other to trace up and around each finger.
As you trace up one finger, breathe in.
Trace down that same finger and breathe out.
Complete this exercise on both hands.

Older kids and adults may appreciate Box Breathing, which can be done sitting, standing or lying down. Here’s how it works:

Draw an imaginary square or box on your stomach and then trace it as you breathe in and out.
Breathe in for a count of two to four breaths as you trace your finger down one side of the box.
Hold your breath for the same count as your hand traces across the bottom of the box.
Breathe out for the same count as you trace up the side of the box.
Hold your breath for the same count as you finish the box by tracing across the top.
Repeat three to five times depending on your kid’s age.

– Source: Kate Rope