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 by A. Kelly Reasons to consider a cooperative birthday party • Great friends want to celebrate together • Birthdays are close together • All (or most) of the invitees are mutual friends • You have a good relationship with the other parent(s) • Saving money by splitting costs (venue,
cake, treat bags, entertainment, etc.) Tips for a successful cooperative birthday party • Have an open, pressure-free dialogue with the kids: Do they really want to share the day? Do their ideas for the party mesh? (venue, activities, foods, etc.) Do their guest lists contain most of the same children? • Make plans with the other parent: Discuss the specifics of who will handle what. Commit to a budget, and don’t exceed it without advance approval! This is more than a friendship; it’s a business transaction. • Communicate effectively with
attendees: Never, ever, ever… • Force kids into sharing the party, no matter how good an idea you think it is. • Double the party size by inviting two totally separate groups of friends. • Put guests in an awkward gifting position due to ineffective communication. • Risk there being a large pile of gifts for one child and only a couple for the other. (If this occurs, avoid the drama by suggesting presents be opened at home, so as not to waste precious play time.) • Make the other parent ask you for your share of the cost. • Talk about the party (or the other
parent) in a negative way, no matter what
goes wrong. It was a beautiful July afternoon at Carrollton’s Midtown Water Park. Nick Tuggle’s 6th birthday is being celebrated, and he’s having a great time swimming with about 40 of his friends. Yes, 40 friends. Oh yeah, he’s not the only one having a birthday today. He and a friend are having a combined birthday party blowout. If you haven’t been to one yet, you probably will soon. By throwing a cooperative party (sometimes called collaborative), two or more families join together to celebrate for more than one child. No more of the “all about me” attitude of the past, instead it’s “all about us.”
Karen Tuggle of Carrollton (mother of Parker, 16, Clancy, 13, and Nick, 6) is a big proponent of cooperative birthday parties and has had them for years. She found increased success and reduced hassle by sharing the job with another parent. With parties ranging from a private pool to booking a water park, this savvy mom splits expenses while ensuring a memorable event for the kids. For example, the local water park’s price range for up to 40 swimmers is $155. The birthday boys were able to include all the friends they wanted, and their moms divvied up the bill ($77.50 each for facility rental isn’t overwhelming). Tuggle shared a few details regarding the planning aspect of the party. For those who only knew her son, invitations began, “You are invited to a shared party for Nick...”Invitations to dual friends were worded with the names of both boys. Presents were opened at the party, and everyone went home with identical goody bags. We used metro Atlanta message board Paulding.com to get a feel for how parents view cooperative birthday parties. A poll was taken regarding the following question:
The forum readers provided thoughtful feedback. For the Yes crowd, the main benefits cited were reduced expenses, time savings and the ability make it a more elaborate party. The No bunch’s main concerns had to do with children’s need for their own spotlight, attendees not knowing both invitees, and confusion about who and how to gift. Frances Wiggins of Acworth, a mother of three, suggests handling gifting by having a charity party: “The birthday children could request school supplies and donate them to a foster care program in return for pen pal names and addresses,” she says. “We live in a ‘gimme’ society. Children need to be exposed to those less fortunate during times other than the holidays. Money is tight for everyone, and ideas like this cut down on the trend of gift-giving one-upmanship.” The trend of cooperative birthdays offers some advantages over the traditional sort, but it isn’t right for everyone. Doing more with less and sharing the day with others seem to be the main draws. It puts possibilities in reach that might otherwise seem extravagant. Renting a bouncy house, clown or pony ride for half price is an attractive proposition. Unless your child’s last name is Jolie-Pitt or Cruise, the cost savings might be worth your consideration. Who knows, cooperative parties may become
the new norm – if enough of us have them,
Hallmark may even develop a new card for the
occasion. |
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