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by Kyle Garrett

With most young families needing to bring in two incomes, childcare is a very important issue. Of course, no parents want to entrust the care of their little bundle of joy to strangers – but it’s not as scary as it sounds. If you’re stressing out about childcare, below is a list of common concerns along with responses from pediatric experts. So take a look – you might find you’re worried over nothing.

“If I send my children to a childcare center, they’re going to be sick all the time.”

Kids who attend childcare are definitely exposed to more illnesses, and as a result they generally get sick more often. However, that’s not necessarily a bad thing. In order to build up immunity against common colds and viruses, kids have to get sick. Being exposed to these illnesses in childcare means kids won’t get sick later on when they start school, so it all evens out. Even if you home school your children, they eventually will be exposed to the same illnesses and have to suffer through them, and some of the illnesses are much worse on kids as they get older.

So keeping your kid out of childcare for fear of sickness isn’t necessarily a valid reason. But according to Dr. David Goo, a pediatric emergency department physician with Children’s Healthcare of Atlanta, there is one caveat: “I would not recommend sending infants less than 8 weeks old to a daycare center if possible. Children under 2 months have a somewhat less developed immunological system and may get a serious illness more easily. Also, if an infant under 4 weeks develops a fever, they will need special tests at the hospital like a lumbar puncture and need to be admitted for observation.”

“I’m afraid my baby will bond with his full-time caregiver instead of me.”

First-time moms in particular have a problem with this one. But according to experts, there’s no need to worry. Even if your infant clutches to nanny and cries like crazy when you pick him up, that doesn’t mean he’d rather live with her. Many children are placed in childcare for up to 12 hours a day, but bonding issues are rarely a problem. Kids know who their parents are, and they know where they sleep at night. And if, by chance, there is a real bonding problem, it won’t be permanent. As children get older, bonding issues disappear.

According to Veda Johnson, assistant professor of pediatrics at Emory University School of Medicine, your bond with baby isn’t established by the amount of time you spend together, but by the amount of quality time you spend together. “Children bond with those whom they can engage in a meaningful way. So if you make sure that when you have the opportunity to spend time with your child that you do that and it’s meaningful and that you engage in a way that really connects with the baby, then you won’t have an issue where a child prefers the childcare provider over [the parent],” explains Johnson.

“My mom is willing to watch the baby. It’s definitely nice on the wallet, but is family always the best option for development?”

Each family situation is unique, but in general, grandmothers are great childcare options. “In terms of development, family members typically provide excellent enriched environments, reading and playing with the children, and giving that extra special attention that only a grandparent can give,” says Goo. While grandmothers mean well and love nothing more than to spend time with the new baby, make sure that older grandmothers are up to the challenge of staying with an active toddler.

Johnson agrees that family childcare is a very good option for development, but believes it’s not necessarily better than other childcare options. “It doesn’t matter where a child gets it, whether it’s in the home or a childcare facility, so long as the right mixture of nurturing, exposure and stimulation takes place. An at-home childcare situation is just as effective as a quality childcare program if it includes adult stimulation, support and nurturing,” says Johnson.

“I’m afraid to send my child to a childcare center because I’m afraid he’ll get hurt.”

Accidents can happen anywhere. This should only be a concern if the childcare facility you choose is understaffed or the supervision isn’t what it should be. Minimize your kid’s injury risk by taking the time to do the research – you’d definitely regret not doing it if something happened down the road. Caretaker/kid ratio, rate of injury, how that particular center responds to injury, and how many of the staff are trained in CPR and first aid are a few of the major things to consider when deciding on a childcare center.

“I’m afraid my child’s provider isn’t as warm and caring as I’d like.”

This is a common complaint. Parents sometimes misjudge caregivers as cold and uncaring because they usually only see caregivers at busy “drop off” and “pick up” times. Parents usually aren’t able to stick around to see the caregiver/child interaction once they’ve gotten settled into their normal routine for the day. Parents are also prone to compare the amount of warmth and affection a caregiver shows their child to the amount of warmth and affection they shower their child with, which, while only natural, is an unfair standard for even the most nurturing caregivers.

Even if your caregiver isn’t the warm and fuzzy type, it’s not necessarily crucial to effective childcare. “The most important elements of a good caretaker are that they are trustworthy, careful with your child, able to handle an emergency situation, hard-working and dedicated to the job,” says Goo. “Loving and kind are very important qualities, and if you can find someone that meets all these criteria, that is optimal. Otherwise, someone whom you trust and can depend on is most important.”

“I’m worried being in childcare with children with developmental delays may be dangerous to my normal child,” or “I’m afraid childcare will be harmful to my child with developmental delays.”

According to experts, the first concern doesn’t hold true. “Most of the centers where they have children with special needs, the children are exposed to things they never would be, and as a result, they have a tendency to excel,” says Johnson. Not only are the kids exposed to normal, age-appropriate stimulation at these centers, but they’re also exposed to techniques and interventions that are required for special needs children, which enhances the knowledge and the exposure of children who don’t have special needs.

As for childcare being harmful to kids with developmental delays, it largely depends on the childcare center. Be sure the center is accustomed to providing care to those with special needs, and make certain that the resources necessary to keep your child safe are available.

“Centers for infants and toddlers just baby-sit – does it really matter which center I pick?”

Absolutely. There can be huge disparities when it comes to care and supervision from center to center. “Having a lot of little babies just lying in cribs is not at all optimal,” says Goo. Take a tour of several childcares, and note how many caregivers are working, the level of cleanliness and attention to detail. Make sure the center you choose focuses on quality child development in addition to providing a safe and nurturing environment.

“Parents should be very intentional about understanding the quality of the childcare program they want to place their child in. Find out whether it’s age appropriate, whether the childcare center is licensed, and if they’re NAEYC accredited, which is the top accreditation as far as providing age-appropriate developmental stimuli,” says Johnson.

“I think I should fill the time I get to spend with my children with tons of activities, since I work and don’t have a lot of time with them.”

According to Goo, this is a typical guilt response from a busy parent. But trying to overcompensate by packing an afternoon with activities can be counterproductive for your child’s development. “Making busy work for your children usually works against you because it tires out a child, number one, and second of all it doesn’t give you the time to bond – to actually get to know the child and let the child get to know you,” says Johnson.

Engaging your child by reading together, or even by just talking about whatever comes to mind, is much more beneficial in terms of development and bonding than keeping him or her busy with even the most entertaining toys. “You should spend more time just sitting still and having that one-on-one with your child, and exposing them to meaningful stimuli, like a walk in the park or looking at birds through a window,” says Johnson.

“If I don’t use childcare, will my child be behind the other kids when he starts kindergarten?”

Don’t worry. As long as you make an effort to spend quality time with your child each day, whether he attends childcare or not, he should develop right on pace with other children his age. “Studies have shown the home environment is the most important [factor] in terms of later achievement,” says Goo. However, just because the home is a great place for children to learn, putting a child in front of the TV is definitely not the best learning strategy, even if it is an “educational program.”

The only potential issue is the social development aspect. “You want to have some provision for your child so that he can interact with other children at the appropriate age,” explains Johnson. Especially if there are no other children in the household, it’s important to schedule play dates or time at the park where children can interact.