|
by Tiffany Capuano
While sitting in a second-story eatery in
downtown Atlanta over the summer, Jennifer Bastion’s
9-year-old son, Mitchel, suddenly asked: “If a plane
hit one of the buildings, would we be able to get
out?”
Taken aback by his pointed question, Bastion
realized her son was worried about their family’s
safety in a crisis.
It’s been five years since the horrific terrorist
attacks of September 11, when four commercial
airplanes were hijacked, two slamming into the World
Trade Center in New York City, another hitting the
Pentagon in Washington, D.C., and another brought
down in the hills of western Pennsylvania. While
many children may be too young to remember the day
it happened, it was one that forever changed the
world in which we live.
Mitchel was 4 years old when the World Trade towers
collapsed, but he’s probably seen enough images in
his lifetime, says his mom. Bastion was able to ease
her son’s fears that day at lunch, planning an
impromptu escape if something were to happen.
Bastion understands how hard it is to cope with the
emotional trauma of catastrophic events, even as an
adult. She was in San Francisco during the 1989
earthquake, and a year ago she worked with the Red
Cross to open and manage a temporary shelter for
Katrina evacuees in Cobb County.
“I had just driven over the Bay Bridge Tunnel when
the road began to buckle and crest like a wave
underneath the car. I still have a hard time now
sitting under overpasses or driving through
tunnels,” recalls Bastion. “There was a lot of
self-reflection after helping with the Katrina
shelter. I would come home from the shelter and
weep. I put my whole soul into it – physically,
emotionally and spiritually. For me, both events
were life lessons.”
As parents, when we learn about devastating news, we
are overcome with our own worries and anxieties. We
often turn to the news media – radio, television,
newspapers and magazines – to learn the latest
developments and better understand the tragedy.
September 11 wasn’t the first time we glued
ourselves to the television. We stood silent,
watched and wept when President John F. Kennedy was
assassinated, when the Challenger and Columbia
exploded, when a tsunami and hurricanes wiped out
entire regions, when Columbine High School turned
deadly, and an Oklahoma City federal building was
bombed.
From terrorism to mechanical malfunctions to the
ever-powerful Mother Nature, we know how news of
such magnitude affects us. But how does it affect
our children?
Dealing with Disaster
Although geographically isolated from the
collapsing towers on the streets of New York City, a
smoking Pentagon in our nation’s capital, or the
flooding streets of New Orleans, Americans and the
world watched in horror and disbelief.
The traumatic stories – the nature of news – don’t
necessarily represent the way things are. We must
remind children that most reported news isn’t about
sunny, uneventful days or planes that land safely.
Like parents, children look to television to get the
latest developments and acquire knowledge about
current events. According to the Dart Center for
Journalism and Trauma at the University of
Washington in Seattle, children are more likely to
watch more television during a national or
international tragedy.
A national survey taken three weeks after President
Kennedy was assassinated showed that 98 percent of
children watched television the weekend of the
assassination; more than 80 percent said they
watched more than normal. After September 11, a
random survey of parents with children ages 5-18
reported that their children viewed attack coverage;
about 60 percent of children watched more than two
hours a day.
Older children may learn more about the events by
watching the news. However, some children may not
understand what has happened, and experts say it is
too much for them to handle, emotionally and
psychologically.
“It is difficult to separate reality from fantasy
for younger children, and older children might be
afraid that it will happen to them,” says Carol
Raines Drummond, a clinical psychologist at Lenox
Psychological Associates in Buckhead.
To Watch or Not To Watch
Parents may not make a conscious decision to
expose children to these tragic images, but if the
television is on the estimated seven hours per day
in most average households, children are exposed.
“We don’t deliberately shelter our children from any
news coverage [of any disaster], but we don’t
deliberately sit down to watch the news either,”
says Robin Winter, a former teacher and mother of a
7-year-old daughter and 6-year-old son. “If we watch
TV and something comes on and they have questions,
we talk about it.”
Parents who restricted coverage of the terrorist
attacks and natural disasters have seen their share
of news images showing the devastation in the days
and weeks that followed.
“We shielded both of our kids from all media
immediately and after 9/11, for about six months. We
were able to shelter them from the immediate brunt
of reality, but [Mitchel] absorbed a lot from TV
shows, products in the stores, NPR reports on the
car radio, church sermons and overheard adult
conversations,” says Bastion. “He was immersed in
world events that have shaped his view of buildings,
terrorists and war.”
On September 11, several Atlanta-area schools
brought televisions into their classrooms and
watched the towers collapsing. “One young
second-grade girl thought it was happening over and
over again, rather than replay,” says Drummond.
Children may not understand that the news media
repeats the same video.
Drummond suggests that parents limit television
viewing and that schools keep televisions out of the
classrooms of younger children during tragic events.
Some middle schools had television sets on September
11, but teachers and counselors used it as
opportunity to process the trauma together and talk
about it as it was happening.
Experts agree that if parents allow young
children to watch the news, they should watch it
with their children, discussing the events and
images as they happen. Parents need to monitor kids
when traumatic events occur, says Drummond.
“As parents, it is good for us to be honest with
our children, acknowledge their [and our own]
sadness, and talk about how things like that won’t
happen again. We can’t ignore the reality that bad
things happen, but try to get kids to ask questions.
It’s good to be honest, but too much information can
be anxiety-producing,” adds Drummond.
Chelsea Brogdon of Atlanta was in sixth grade in
2001. “I watched a lot of television after 9/11, but
I only watched it with my parents,” she says. “I got
to ask a lot of questions and it helped so I wasn’t
so confused. When Time magazine did a story on 9/11,
I wanted to read it to learn more, but it was too
much for me to handle. I just had to say, ‘I’ve had
enough.’”
“Sometimes,” Drummond adds, “it’s hard for kids
to say, ‘I’m afraid it will happen again or to me.’”
When parents are consumed by the news stories and
are upset, their children will also feel that
emotional baggage.
When Enough is Too Much
“We are experiencing a cultural epidemic of
parents sharing way too much about current events
with their young children, including horrific,
tragic events, such as Katrina and 9/11,” says Marcy
Axness, an early development counselor at Santa
Barbara Graduate Institute in California.
“The reason parents do this is to help [their
children] become thoughtful citizens of this complex
world, but these good intentions are misdirected.
The young child [up to age 7] doesn’t have the
cognitive capacities and abstract reasoning
abilities to process this sophisticated information.
It overwhelms their ability to take it in and make
meaningful sense of it.”
Kids who cannot digest this type of information
are often prone to behavior problems, attention
issues, and sleeping and eating disruptions, leaving
them with confusion, inner turmoil and uncertainty,
she adds.
“Even our school-aged children need to be
protected to some degree from the emotional
intensity of our culture’s 24/7 onslaught of
disturbing media images and headlines,” Axness says.
“It is during the early and middle childhood years
when children are supported in developing their
inner resources, which will ultimately help them
respond to real world news with intelligence,
compassion and a robust sense of effectiveness. If
we bombard them too early with the world’s
disheartening or frightening news, we undermine the
formation of those qualities, and risk them feeling
overly despairing, fearful and helpless.”
Focus on the Positive
During times of tragedy, psychologists suggest
that parents talk with their children about the
positive things they can do together to help, such
as car washes, bake sales or collecting donations.
“Anything they can do that’s positive can
counterbalance fears and anxieties,” says Drummond.
Explain how firefighters, police officers and rescue
teams are there to keep us safe if something bad
happens.
As the anniversary of September 11 approaches, we
don’t know what images television stations will air,
or what headlines and photos will land on the front
pages. But as parents, and human beings, we don’t
want to relive the tragedy. Rather, we want to honor
the memory – and show our children its positive
impact – how families have survived and moved
forward.
| 
“They brought TVs into the classroom, and a
lot of people were in a state of shock. America
is so invincible and it was hitting everyone
hard because nothing like this ever happens
here. On a personal level, I learned that no
person or country is invincible and lives can be
taken so easily. The hatred that others have
toward this country became more clear.” 
“When September 11th
happened, it was almost surreal. We were glued
to the TV and wanted to know what we could do to
help. I think people my age don’t like to think
about it [if something would happen], but when I
sit with my family and talk about it, it becomes
very real. I like to watch TV documentaries
about 9/11. I like to find out exactly what
happened and understand it. I think we need to
remind ourselves about it. We forget too
easily.” 
“Tragedy isn’t new for me. I lost my father to a
brain tumor when I was in first grade, and lost
my dog and grandfather when I was in second
grade. I also lived in New Jersey when 9/11
happened. I watched more TV after school, after
9/11, but it was the pain of knowing that all
those people lost their lives. To me, it was
harder because I know how it feels to lose a
parent.” 
“My mom worked in
Manhattan and my dad worked in Brooklyn on 9/11.
At my school in Long Island, we went to chapel
that morning and they told us what happened. I
had never heard of terrorism. After school,
every single channel had news about the event
and it was saddening. I couldn’t escape from it,
but it helped me appreciate the people I have….
Our parents may go to work and not come home.”
Spend
time together as a family. Children’s sense of
security is mostly founded on their
relationships with their parents and family. It
stems from being with people a child trusts in
an intimate relationship. But a child needs to
have enough time with you to feel that the
everyday world you live in is a reliable and
safe one in which he feels protected. This can
only come from warm, nurturing relationships. 