by Tiffany Capuano

Imagine a day without laundry, a day without making a meal for yourself or others, a day without changing a diaper or playing referee in your household. Imagine a day all to yourself without the responsibilities of motherhood.
For many women, this would be an ideal way to spend Mother’s Day this year – a day off, relieved of all motherly duties. Others would opt for full pampering, complete with an exquisite dinner, massage, pedicure and quiet

So why do we long for a day of pampering, time alone or spending the day without work? Perhaps we are so overwhelmed in our daily routines that sometimes we forget to take care of ourselves, every day.

“We all believe that there’s this perfect person out there managing it better. Her kids never whine, her house is spotless, and all her marital conflicts are handled using excellent communication skills,” says Lisa McLeod, Atlanta resident and author of Forget Perfect. “Her life is bliss, and if we check off enough items on our own to-do list we’ll morph into her and be happy.”

McLeod warns that trying to be perfect and manage it all doesn’t make people like you more. And more importantly, women must realize we are creating the next generation’s to-do list. “If you run around like a crazy woman and never give yourself permission to have any fun, you’re telling your daughter that one day you expect her to do the same. Or worse,” she adds, “my daughter will marry your son and she’ll have to hear, ‘My mom never needed a night out with her friends, so why do you?’”

For generations, women have been the primary caregivers. Mothers often commit themselves fully when it comes to others’ needs and schedules. But experts agree that a woman who takes care of her own individual needs learns to be a better spouse, mother, friend and colleague.

According to Betty Londergan, an Atlanta mom of four and author of I’m Too Sexy for My Volvo, taking care of ourselves sometimes means being selfish. One of her favorite random acts of selfishness, as she calls them, is buying herself flowers. For her, it’s the boost she needs every now and then.

A recent national online survey showed 97 percent of moms prefer recognition and appreciation over gifts for Mother’s Day. Given a choice of recognition, most moms choose time with their family, followed by being waited on hand and foot. Moms also liked getting crafts from their children, breakfast in bed, time alone, dinner made by the kids, respect and hugs and kisses.

To celebrate this Mother’s Day, be a little selfish and do something you enjoy. Make time to take care of yourself. You deserve it. And not just on Mother’s Day, but every day.

Unforgettable Mother’s Day Moments

"I became a single mother two and a half years ago after going through a very ugly divorce. My two girls (now ages 9 and 12) have lived with me since the day of the separation. I went from having a husband who made $100,000 a year, living in a $250,000 home and driving nice cars to working three jobs, living in an apartment and struggling to make ends meet while trying to give my girls everything they needed and some of what they wanted. Last year, while dressing for work I was listening to the FISH radio station and a story came across telling about a single mom who struggled financially but yet managed to give her girls of herself – by being at every soccer game, going to every soccer practice, never missing a school party or field trip, all while working three jobs. And then they announced that the letter was written by my two girls and I had been chosen to win a Mother’s Day Makeover. The best Mother’s Day ever? You bet!"
— Leigh Kent (pictured with daughters Lexi and Amanda)

"When my daughter Katy was 2, she and my husband went shopping for the first time ever for a Mother’s Day gift for me. When they came home, Katy announced they had two gifts for me. I asked her to tell me what they were and she said, “Pens.” I am a pen collector, so I had no reason to doubt her words. I said, “Really. What kind?” And she said with her eyes big and blue, “No, Mommy. JEWELRY!” She proceeded to give me the surprise gift a week before Mother’s Day and before my husband could get to her. I knew then I had a partner in crime forever, and to this day she cannot keep a surprise!"
— Stephanie Snider

"My memorable Mother’s Day gift was a trip to New York with my best friend, Beverly. She was hesitant in not spending the day with her children, but once we landed it was paradise. We stayed with my sister in upper Manhattan, who was hostess for this Mother’s Day weekend. We toured the city on a double-decker bus, enjoyed a Broadway play, shopped at flea markets, and ended our weekend with a wonderful brunch overlooking the city. Whisked away in our limo to the airport, we felt like queens. After landing in Atlanta, we looked at each other, wondering if it had been a dream. Yes, it was a reality dream and the best Mother’s Day gift ever!"
— Sylvia Keel

"Every year for Mother’s Day I get a plate to hang in the kitchen that the children have painted for me. The first few years had lots of Daddy’s help. The last couple of years they are all boy! I now have seven of them prominently displayed in my kitchen. It’s like an amazing timeline right before me. They start with tiny little handprints and now have creative drawings and sayings. I can’t wait until May to see what they do this year."
— Leah Cooper (pictured with sons Reese, 8, and Graham, 6)